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if someone enjoys receiving oral sex but refuses
to give (or
reluctantly gives with obvious distaste), I feel that shows a
lack of
fairness and generosity that will surface in other aspects of
life.
One who wishes not to be archived said:
Okay, now here's the contrary part....
If someone doesn't enjoy oral sex (as receiver or giver), I feel
it's no
different that practicing any other type of sexual act. Some people
don't enjoy certain things and I just don't feel they should be
judged
by something such as this.
I agree that if someone feels they don't enjoy
certain things (in this
case, oral sex) they shouldn't have to do it. They should, in
my
opinion, find a partner that feels the same. Yet, I do think it's
unfair to expect (or insist) one's partner perform oral sex if
there is
going to be no reciprocation. I do think that's unfair and ungenerous
and I do think that says more about the person beyond their sexual
preferences. Of course, that's purely my opinion.
(Are all vanilla, non-spankees/spankers to be
considered in such a
light as well, because they don't satisfy the needs of their spanko
partner? This isn't fair...this is selfish. Right?)
Well, as a single person, if I met the "right"
vanilla man, I would
probably attempt getting him to spank me. If he wouldn't do so
or hated
it, I'm not sure whether I would consider a long-term relationship
with
him or not (though, at this point, probably the latter). If I
met the
"right" vanilla man and he either didn't like oral sex
at all or wanted
to receive but didn't want to reciprocate, I can honestly say
that I
definitely wouldn't want a long-term relationship with him. I
believe
great sex is one of the small amounts of heaven we're allowed
on earth
and I wouldn't make a commitment to a man that is sexually incompatible
to me. I might be able to sacrifice spanking (though I would prefer
not
to) but I wouldn't sacrifice oral sex.
Obviously, it's a trickier situation if someone
is already in a
committed relationship and later discovers they are interested
in
spanking. But, since you asked my opinion :-) , I do think it's
only
fair for partners to satisfy each others needs if they want to
maintain
their relationship. If one chooses not to, I feel one is putting
the
relationship at risk and should be prepared to accept possible
consequences.
I don't understand how the "lack of fairness
and generosity" plays
into this at all. Why would someone want to goad their partner
into
doing something that may displease them. Would it be fair to "force"
them to reciprocate, due to fairness
If one person likes to receive and doesn't want
to give and the other
person wants to give and not receive, then both partners are still
being
pleased. I believe if one person wants to receive but refuses
to give,
even though that person is aware oral sex their partner wants
to receive, then
that person is, in my opinion, fundamentally unfair. And, I do
think
that disregard for the other person's pleasure has deeper implications.
It's interesting how the dynamics of a spanking
relationship (top vs.
bottom) may NOT be switchable for many, MANY people, but that
the idea
of reciprocal oral sex would be considered unfair to the one partner
that may not enjoy it.
I think it's a matter of priorities. Many spankos
are happy in their
roles as top or bottom oral sex and have no desire to switch.
Neither my Top nor
I want to reverse roles, so we're definitely compatible in that
respect.
I don't really "get" the dynamic of regular partners
switching, though I
know many do. Personally, I think the attitude of a top and a
bottom
are too different. But, if I was in a relationship with a man
I really
cared for and he wanted to switch, I would do so because pleasing
him
would be both important and meaningful to me. So, I would learn
to
"get" it--he wouldn't have to force me.
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Mutually performed oral sex is a priority for
me in a sexual
relationship. If my partner doesn't enjoy it for philosophical
reasons,
then he and I aren't philosophically, Oral Sexas well as sexually,
compatible.
If my partner desires (or insists) on receiving oral sex, but
doesn't
reciprocate, the concept of oral sex must not be objectionable
to
him--my body must be. And I wouldn't commit to a man that felt
that
way. But, maybe that's just me.
L.A. Oral Sex
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